Book #2 Boundaries

Have you ever wondered what life would be like if people respected you and your resources (time, physical gifts, talents)? Have you ever had a time where you wanted to say "no" but felt guilty about it? So you ended up saying "yes", even to people you care about? I have, and as much as I like people and want to give them, there needs to be a balance. God didn't make us to rely completely to ourselves, but there comes a point in every person's life where she needs to take responsibility for herself and what she will or will not do.

And that's where this book comes in handy.







This is a self-help book but in a different way. You read about learning where do boundaries start from infancy to adulthood; the common myths about boundaries; boundaries and work/children/marriage/God.

I really enjoyed this book. It's inspirational because you can achieve learning about boundaries, even when you have bad habits. All you need is faith. 

Getting off to a good start!

So I have many new resolutions for this new year. Some of them may actually come true. One of my resoltuions was from last year. Since I failed (miserably) to read 50 books in 1 year, I've decided to try it again. Also, I'm going to try and read the entire Bible in one year, which is something I've been wanting to do for 6 years.

Here are my 13 resolutions that I wrote down:

1. To seriously think and plan about where I want to work and live this year. 

For me this has been a struggle because after 4 1/2 years of going to class, working on campus, and being immersed in student life, I now have to go out into the "real world". Though I'll admit that I am a HUGE procrastinator; and entering an area in life where I know what to do but not how to attain it frightens me, I'm slowly starting to realize that a lot of my stress and worry comes from myself not trusting in God. Francis Chan in Crazy Love describes worry and stress as this,

"Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.
Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace towards others, or our tight grip of control."

Not sure how many of you will admit this, but I do struggle with letting God control areas in my life. (And that's putting it lightly!)

    2. Become financially responsible.
This may seem stereotypical but I have never kept a budget in my life. I've used checkbooks but somehow they always seem to never balance out, never quite sure how that happens. Plus there's always this deal with numbers that in the large scheme of things, I'd rather see numbers on a chalkboard (I'm old-fashioned) than having to input them on an excel spreadsheet. This is particularly why I'll never work in payroll.

   3. Pray more purposefully.
After reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan, I've slowly been changing the way I pray. Learning to be quiet when I spend time alone with God is difficult, I desperately want to break the awkward silence. Also group prayer I usually don't hear the other people praying because I'm too nervous thinking about what I am going to say. (Remember I've already told you about my control problem.)
In the past 6 months, I think that I've changed in a good way, though I still slip up here and there. It's always good to know that God loves me enough that I won't be turned into a pillar of salt when I fall.

   4. Learn how to give and sacrifically give.
A lot of times, especially in the realm of money, I never know how much to give. I want to give in obedience to God, but I also know that there's the task of being responsible for the things that He's given me. The job I have does not allow me to give a lot, or even all the time. Something that I'll be working on this year.

   5. Learn how to live happily as a single, Christian woman.
For almost 1 1/2 years, I've been single. It's difficult for me personally because I've grown up with the same false belief as so many other young girls: being in a relationship means social status, aka "being cool". In my teenage and into my young adult life, I've been in relationships that either weren't impulsive or made unhealthy choices that later shattered the relationship.
Many of my friends at church are engaged and getting married this year. It's a joyful experience and I'm sincerely happy for them. Though there's a small part of me that still clings to that false belief of happiness. So this year, I'm reading books like Set Apart Feminity by Leslie Ludy, learning how to be single and appreciate it for all God has blessed me. I may not be in a relationship because God has something better planned for me right now, I just don't know it.
And I know that I won't always be happy with my single life, there's room for sadness, but I want to be able to believe myself when I say, "No, I'm not in a relationship. I'm living out the life that God has planned for me now, instead of worrying about the life I think I should have."

    6. Drop down to a size 10 (in a healthy and appropriate way)
For many of us who struggle with weight loss, believe me when I say that I understand the battle. I have been a foodie for most of my life. I've also been a slave to my desire of food instead of eating and knowing when I'm full. Since high school, I steadily increased about 5-8 lbs per year. Now that college has ended, I currently weigh over 200 lbs. Now that may not seem much considering I'm a tall girl, however, in my family's health history there's type 2 diabetes, heart, back and knee problems. Most of which are tied into weight issues.
Personally, it would be an accomplishment to set and stick with portion control, I know that this would be a significant feat! Also I want to do some sort of exercise regiment. Currently the weather doesn't alwys permit me to go outside, however that shouldn't be the reason that I don't workout. There's plenty of workout regiments that I could do in my living room.

    7. Read the entire Bible.
I was a sophomore in high school when I received my first student bible along with a 365-daily reading Bible. Though I've greatly treasured both of these, I've never completed reading the 365 Bible. So far, I've been reading it consistently!

    8. Save up for a car (depending).
Now this resolution may not end in this year, I hope that I could at least be saving up some money towards a car. It's difficult right now for me but I hope to in the next 3 years have a car to lovingly call my own beater. :)

    9. Learn Spanish.
Since a majority of students and people in Lowell know another language besides English, plus there's a great demand for bilingual applicants, knowing Spanish would help not only with the job front but also on mission trips. I really want to go back to Honduras to help out the Cristo Salva group again. Maybe next January may be the reunion!

   10. Wake up early in order to finish/start tasks.
You may be reading this one and saying, "Really? That's not a resolution for a year, that's one for LIFE." For all those night owls, you understand. Mix laziness with going to bed at 1 a.m. and you get someone who doesn't get out of bed till 9:30/10 a.m. Today for instance, I wanted to get up at 7:15 a.m., I didn't get out of my bed until 9:30. So I've been setting mulitple alarms. The biggest problem is when I bring my cellphone back to bed with me, that creates an easier reach and I'll less likely get out of bed. It's been a work in progress.

   11. Not to be late (always)
If you read #10, you understand why I put this here.

   12. Be intentional about living out the gospel.
Honestly, I get caught up in "what will people at work/school/home think if ..." A self image only concerned with what other people think of you is a fragile state. And who wants to live like that? It's nerve-wracking!
Yesterday I read a post by someone saying,

What if we cared about the people that Jesus cared for, and steered away from the people Jesus avoided.

   13.  Create healthy boundaries in my life. After reading Boundaries (which I HIGHLY recommend!) I've learned that I am compliant (I've heard it called being a peacemaker) when I need to be standing up for myself and reestablish boundaries I've set. When I care more for what other people think and feel over my feelings, then I've given them control over my life. So I'm trying to reaffirm those boundaries, and am still finding them in some cases. Building these boundaries will help not only now, but also in the future when I come against struggles. Confrintations some people avoid like the plague, and I understand why because I am one of those people! But the question remains, "Am I going to let someone else control my life, or am I going to control my life by keeping the boundaries that I've set?"
Jesus never said that following him would be easy. He only said that the end result would be worth it.

Did you catch that? Reading instead of eyes moving across a page

Have you ever read something but didn't "take in" the words? Your eyes moved across the page, but you didn't understand the sentence because you were concentrated elsewhere? Well that's how I've been with God the past year. He's been in my life, I have no doubt. However, I haven't been listening to him. I didn't seek Him out but instead would go about my business, what needed to get done on my list. See, there's a lot about myself and not much about Him even in my writing.

Today was a breath of fresh air. Reading Genesis, about Noah and the flood. In MacArthur's study bible, it's great to read and better understand what God is trying to say.
Stephen spoke yesterday about Psalm 19, about the wise being made simple and the simple God would grant understanding of His word.
I understood His word differently, it was like I was listening to Him talk for the first time in a while; like when you suddenly notice someone and become intrigued by what s/he is saying. It's sad how often we forget God's voice, tune him out at times because there's other things that need to be dealt with first.

One of my resolutions this year is to read the entire Bible. 365 days of truly dwelling in God's Word. I may not understand all of it, but God will give me a portion each day to take and perhaps share with someone else.

Today I found out that one of the women I work with, on Saturday her mother lost her home in a fire. Every earthly possession gone, in an instant. Lord, what would you want me to say to her? Please help me show her You, in some small gesture or phrase. I'm listening. My ears are waiting for your reply.