Being content

In this season of my life, some of my friends are dating, engaged, married and/or have children. As for me, I'm single and struggling to be satisfied in singleness. I'm so thankful to God that he gives us just what we need at the time we need it, but I'm sinful and being content when it looks like everyone else is having a blast in life is well...sad.

My awesome friend Sarah is a blog reader, I don't know if she's ever thought of blogging herself, and she forwarded me this blog about being single and content. (You should check it out!) http://www.boundless.org/adulthood/2007/with-those-who-rejoice
There have been, are, and will be plenty of times that I can look at a friend's blessings and say, "Why can't that be me?" And then I turn to Scripture and all throughout there are passages of God calling us "to rejoice with those who rejoice". (Rom 12:15) It's biblical that we rejoice in the moments when our friends are reaping the gifts from God, because they are from God. Likewise I have gifts that God has given me. A new calling to youth ministry and a job interview that I am stoked about! These are things that I do not deserve; I'm thankful that instead of whacking me upside the head, God uses the Holy Spirit to call me back to the dwelling place I need to be in.

Escaping from the world's standards is difficult because we are called by God to be in the world and not of it. Mixed signals? No, God uses His people to glorify Himself as well as call others to Him. But it requires action on our part and the working of the Holy Spirit to keep our eyes on Jesus. Jesus was the one who turned the cross, a sign of death into a sign of life, His resurrection!

Here are some other Bible passages that might help you in your season of finding contentment:

• "Not that I am speaking of being in need, for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need." Phil. 4:11-12
  
• "For the sake of Christ, then, I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities. For when I am weak, then I am strong." 2 Cor. 12:10
  
• "You keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you, because he trusts in you." Isaiah 26:3
  
•  "Trust in the Lord, and do good; dwell in the land and befriend faithfulness. Delight yourself in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart. Commit your way to the Lord; trust in him, and he will act." Psa. 37:3-5
  
• "Draw near to God, and he will draw near to you. Cleanse your hands, you sinners, and purify your hearts, you double-minded." James 4:8
  
• "And I commend joy, for man has no good thing under the sun but to eat and drink and be joyful, for this will go with him in his toil through the days of his life that God has given him under the sun." Ecc. 8:15
  
• "The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want." Psa. 23:1
  
• "Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for him; fret not yourself over the one who prospers in his way, over the man who carries out evil devices!" Psa. 37:7
  
• "I hear, and my body trembles; my lips quiver at the sound; rottenness enters into my bones; my legs tremble beneath me. Yet I will quietly wait for the day of trouble to come upon people who invade us. Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls, yet I will rejoice in the Lord; I will take joy in the God of my salvation." Hab. 3:16-18
  
• "Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me, lest I be full and deny you and say, “Who is the Lord?” or lest I be poor and steal and profane the name of my God." Prov. 30:8-9
  
• "So, brothers, in whatever condition each was called, there let him remain with God." 1 Cor. 7:24
  
• "Cast your burden on the Lord, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved." Psa. 55:22
  
• "This is the day that the Lord has made; let us rejoice and be glad in it." Psa. 118:24
  
• "A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones." Prov. 17:22

Waiting

Waiting, especially when you want something really bad, can feel like it takes forever to get. For instance, when I graduated, it took my school over 3 months to send me my diploma. Then there's the things that God only knows when will take place, i.e. jobs, marriage, where I'll end up in five years, etc. Something that I've always had a hard time with is waiting on God.
In my life, there's nothing more I'm afraid of than being out of control. By having control I feel safe, secure. In relationships, if I didn't like the "pace" I took charge. Same thing with extracurricular activities. Now while some of those leadership qualities are admirable, other times I (whether intentional or not) demoted God in my life. It's like having someone ride "shot gun" or "co-pilot", yet she is constantly trying to get control of how the driver operates.

Then God reminds me of how much I'm not in control. On Monday, someone or persons decided to place multiple bombs around Boston and detonate them during the Boston Marathon. Fortunately there were people who were trained to handle emergency situations (and I'm grateful for them as I'm sure the people there were); however, I also came to realize through watching the news on it that I'm not in control as much as I presumed I was. Today I could have died in my sleep as a result of a brain aneurism or getting hit by a car while out for a run, I could have been a runner or spectator at the marathon yesterday and died from injuries. There are so many things that we're not in control of, and as much as we like to think we are, it doesn't make much of a difference.

God created the heavens and the earth. All things, from the chlorophyll to Mount Kilimanjaro. And it is through His will whether or not things exist on earth or altogether stop existing. The choice we need to make is are we able to submit to His will or forsake him for the short-lived opportunity to follow what we want to do. Jesus said that anyone who acknowledges him here on earth, he will acknowledge at the end times. So what will we decide? And on a personal challenge, what will you decide?
I've read a book called the Invitation. It's about what does discipleship mean in terms of following Christ. What's great about the book is the author humanizes the people in the Bible. Now this may sound weird to some people, but the people in the Bible (sans Jesus Christ and God) weren't perfect. Peter denied Christ 3x after pledging not to leave Jesus; King David was "a man after God' own heart" and yet he had an affair with a married woman and plotted to have her husband killed in the front line of battle. These people had issues like every other person on earth does. The beauty is God still wants you, though His saving grace, we are allowed to be a part of God's family. He'll comfort us from Satan's flaming arrows. He'll provide a shelter when we feel there is no place to rest our head. And he'll also love us unconditionally.

Now that's freedom from control. The question is, am I ready to let go and surrender to Christ? Are you?

Prayers needed!

So today I stumbled upon an advertisement on facebook that I was actually interested in! (As a grumbling sidenote, can I just say that for all the smarts that it took to make facebook, they should have left out ads but c'est la vie!) Back on track, I found this group called Covenant Children Church who work all over the world. What drew me to them was that they have a group working in the Democratic Republic of Congo (DRC). Maybe I should tell you why this is something I'm asking prayer for.

A few years ago, my friends Chrissy and Ashley invited me to a film screening called the Whistleblower, it's about human trafficking that happened during the Bosnia & Herzegovinan civil war in the 90's. That was my first awareness about what human trafficking was and that it is still going on worldwide. In countries regardless of how modernized they are, this is an ugly multibillion dollar industry that is quickly becoming the number one black market (currently illegal drugs are number one). Since I watched that movie, I became a part of a group on my campus called Students Against Human Trafficking. (Now you might think, "What do you do? Talk about how awful humanity is? Sounds like a whole lotta doin nothin but whining." When in actuality our group has a candlelight vigil in April for sexual assault victims, survivors and families; we've invited groups such as Liberty in North Korea (LiNK) and Invisible Children to talk to students about human trafficking and their respective group's passions and goals. Plus this month, we're showing the documentary Half the Sky on campus!!!) Plus during my senior year, I took a class where we had a project of spreading awareness to students about the DRC and human rights atrocities that happen there. It's bad, real bad and unfortunately not many people are aware of it. So our class broke into groups that would individually cover topics ranging from health to clean water to rape victims to child soldiers. My group had to talk about the child soldiers, which led me to Invisible Children and their goal to end Joseph Kony's criminal terror throughout central Africa by a group called the Lord's Resistance Army, or LRA (just as a disclaimer: this group is anything but Christian. They sadistically murder and/or disfigure people, kidnap children and turn them into drugged-and-confused child soldiers, rape girls and keep them as sex slaves, and use terror tactics that literally causes people to hide in fear).

Ok so recap: was invited to a movie about human trafficking --> became involved on campus with an anti-trafficking student group and took a class that led to the awareness of (and love for) the DRC.

So back to the Covenant Kids Congo. I could possibly be a short term missionary there!!! They're looking for someone over 21 (check), who speaks French (I speak at a 5 yr old pace but could learn, so check), who can commit 2-3yrs in the DRC (CHECK!) and mostly importantly is a passionate follower of Jesus Christ (He's the reason I have a passion for serving others).
Which leads me to my prayer request. See, I'm one of those people who doesn't need many reasons to travel and go serve in a different part of the country or the other side of the world. Please pray for God to give me direction in this decision, if this is the path He wants me to take, then may He continue to mold me into the woman I need to be for this life experience; and if not, then may He give me direction to where I need to go. May I be willing to not just "follow my heart" but to be led by the One who created my heart and everything that I am today.

Thanks a bunch and I'll keep you posted on what happens! :)

Dancing Queen

Just got back from a wedding for a couple of friends. (2nd one this year! Woot, woot! My mom was proud of me that I asked two guys to dance and was asked by another to dance. The latter one taught me how to waltz which was a lot of fun! What can I say, I am my mother's daughter.) It's exciting to see how this became a reality, since I got a glimpse into their relationship at the beginning through up to this point in time, where they are husbnad and wife. Leading up to this moment, I'm just glad to rejoice with them! I always thought that the best part of marriage was the dancing (and still do!) because it reminds me of the time that David would joyfully dance before God. And no matter how much your side of the family likes to have a good time and party, nothing will compare to the biggest celebration of Christ coming for His bride and singing throughout eternity. (See Revelation.)

 At one wedding, the bride's elder relative got her while dancing to the Electric Slide. (I know, they should put a warning sign on the dance floor.) So weddings do not always go as planned. And that's what makes them such a great starting point for the newlyweds. Our lives never go as we've planned them, some of us have been planning certain things for long spans of time. Take for instance a woman who planned a decade in advance for her wedding. Can you imagine being a baker and someone asks you to put a wedding cake on reserve for 10 years??? Talk about a long wait.
Did I start with a point? Not sure. I guess what I'm trying to say is that our plans suck compared to what God has in store for us. Oh that and God knows how to throw a party. After all his son knew how to turn water into wine. Party animal!

Can cleaning be considerate a mental disorder?

Yesterday I was in my apartment and suddenly a wake of needing to clean came over me. Like have you ever had that happen? It's funny because I always swore to myself that I would never be like my dad, who comes from a family of cleaning crazies!
I guess I should be glad that I'm not cleaning 24/7, unable to leave the house because I saw one dust bunny on the floor and will think about it all day till I get home. Actually I'm very thankful I'm not like that. Talk about a perfect candidate for Obsession.

Also this may sound strange, but I find cleaning dishes to be relaxing.

Book #2 Boundaries

Have you ever wondered what life would be like if people respected you and your resources (time, physical gifts, talents)? Have you ever had a time where you wanted to say "no" but felt guilty about it? So you ended up saying "yes", even to people you care about? I have, and as much as I like people and want to give them, there needs to be a balance. God didn't make us to rely completely to ourselves, but there comes a point in every person's life where she needs to take responsibility for herself and what she will or will not do.

And that's where this book comes in handy.







This is a self-help book but in a different way. You read about learning where do boundaries start from infancy to adulthood; the common myths about boundaries; boundaries and work/children/marriage/God.

I really enjoyed this book. It's inspirational because you can achieve learning about boundaries, even when you have bad habits. All you need is faith. 

Getting off to a good start!

So I have many new resolutions for this new year. Some of them may actually come true. One of my resoltuions was from last year. Since I failed (miserably) to read 50 books in 1 year, I've decided to try it again. Also, I'm going to try and read the entire Bible in one year, which is something I've been wanting to do for 6 years.

Here are my 13 resolutions that I wrote down:

1. To seriously think and plan about where I want to work and live this year. 

For me this has been a struggle because after 4 1/2 years of going to class, working on campus, and being immersed in student life, I now have to go out into the "real world". Though I'll admit that I am a HUGE procrastinator; and entering an area in life where I know what to do but not how to attain it frightens me, I'm slowly starting to realize that a lot of my stress and worry comes from myself not trusting in God. Francis Chan in Crazy Love describes worry and stress as this,

"Worry implies that we don't quite trust that God is big enough, powerful enough, or loving enough to take care of what's happening in our lives.
Stress says that the things we are involved in are important enough to merit our impatience, our lack of grace towards others, or our tight grip of control."

Not sure how many of you will admit this, but I do struggle with letting God control areas in my life. (And that's putting it lightly!)

    2. Become financially responsible.
This may seem stereotypical but I have never kept a budget in my life. I've used checkbooks but somehow they always seem to never balance out, never quite sure how that happens. Plus there's always this deal with numbers that in the large scheme of things, I'd rather see numbers on a chalkboard (I'm old-fashioned) than having to input them on an excel spreadsheet. This is particularly why I'll never work in payroll.

   3. Pray more purposefully.
After reading Forgotten God by Francis Chan, I've slowly been changing the way I pray. Learning to be quiet when I spend time alone with God is difficult, I desperately want to break the awkward silence. Also group prayer I usually don't hear the other people praying because I'm too nervous thinking about what I am going to say. (Remember I've already told you about my control problem.)
In the past 6 months, I think that I've changed in a good way, though I still slip up here and there. It's always good to know that God loves me enough that I won't be turned into a pillar of salt when I fall.

   4. Learn how to give and sacrifically give.
A lot of times, especially in the realm of money, I never know how much to give. I want to give in obedience to God, but I also know that there's the task of being responsible for the things that He's given me. The job I have does not allow me to give a lot, or even all the time. Something that I'll be working on this year.

   5. Learn how to live happily as a single, Christian woman.
For almost 1 1/2 years, I've been single. It's difficult for me personally because I've grown up with the same false belief as so many other young girls: being in a relationship means social status, aka "being cool". In my teenage and into my young adult life, I've been in relationships that either weren't impulsive or made unhealthy choices that later shattered the relationship.
Many of my friends at church are engaged and getting married this year. It's a joyful experience and I'm sincerely happy for them. Though there's a small part of me that still clings to that false belief of happiness. So this year, I'm reading books like Set Apart Feminity by Leslie Ludy, learning how to be single and appreciate it for all God has blessed me. I may not be in a relationship because God has something better planned for me right now, I just don't know it.
And I know that I won't always be happy with my single life, there's room for sadness, but I want to be able to believe myself when I say, "No, I'm not in a relationship. I'm living out the life that God has planned for me now, instead of worrying about the life I think I should have."

    6. Drop down to a size 10 (in a healthy and appropriate way)
For many of us who struggle with weight loss, believe me when I say that I understand the battle. I have been a foodie for most of my life. I've also been a slave to my desire of food instead of eating and knowing when I'm full. Since high school, I steadily increased about 5-8 lbs per year. Now that college has ended, I currently weigh over 200 lbs. Now that may not seem much considering I'm a tall girl, however, in my family's health history there's type 2 diabetes, heart, back and knee problems. Most of which are tied into weight issues.
Personally, it would be an accomplishment to set and stick with portion control, I know that this would be a significant feat! Also I want to do some sort of exercise regiment. Currently the weather doesn't alwys permit me to go outside, however that shouldn't be the reason that I don't workout. There's plenty of workout regiments that I could do in my living room.

    7. Read the entire Bible.
I was a sophomore in high school when I received my first student bible along with a 365-daily reading Bible. Though I've greatly treasured both of these, I've never completed reading the 365 Bible. So far, I've been reading it consistently!

    8. Save up for a car (depending).
Now this resolution may not end in this year, I hope that I could at least be saving up some money towards a car. It's difficult right now for me but I hope to in the next 3 years have a car to lovingly call my own beater. :)

    9. Learn Spanish.
Since a majority of students and people in Lowell know another language besides English, plus there's a great demand for bilingual applicants, knowing Spanish would help not only with the job front but also on mission trips. I really want to go back to Honduras to help out the Cristo Salva group again. Maybe next January may be the reunion!

   10. Wake up early in order to finish/start tasks.
You may be reading this one and saying, "Really? That's not a resolution for a year, that's one for LIFE." For all those night owls, you understand. Mix laziness with going to bed at 1 a.m. and you get someone who doesn't get out of bed till 9:30/10 a.m. Today for instance, I wanted to get up at 7:15 a.m., I didn't get out of my bed until 9:30. So I've been setting mulitple alarms. The biggest problem is when I bring my cellphone back to bed with me, that creates an easier reach and I'll less likely get out of bed. It's been a work in progress.

   11. Not to be late (always)
If you read #10, you understand why I put this here.

   12. Be intentional about living out the gospel.
Honestly, I get caught up in "what will people at work/school/home think if ..." A self image only concerned with what other people think of you is a fragile state. And who wants to live like that? It's nerve-wracking!
Yesterday I read a post by someone saying,

What if we cared about the people that Jesus cared for, and steered away from the people Jesus avoided.

   13.  Create healthy boundaries in my life. After reading Boundaries (which I HIGHLY recommend!) I've learned that I am compliant (I've heard it called being a peacemaker) when I need to be standing up for myself and reestablish boundaries I've set. When I care more for what other people think and feel over my feelings, then I've given them control over my life. So I'm trying to reaffirm those boundaries, and am still finding them in some cases. Building these boundaries will help not only now, but also in the future when I come against struggles. Confrintations some people avoid like the plague, and I understand why because I am one of those people! But the question remains, "Am I going to let someone else control my life, or am I going to control my life by keeping the boundaries that I've set?"
Jesus never said that following him would be easy. He only said that the end result would be worth it.